Can You Ever Really Recover from a Bad First Impression?

At some point in our lives, we’ve given a bad first impression. Whether you’ve bombed an interview, had an awkward first meeting with your significant other’s parents, or simply said the wrong thing at the wrong time, it’s an unavoidable part of life. 

One recent example is Katie Zacharia’s inaugural press conference. If you don’t know who I'm talking about, Katie Zacharia was US President Donald Trump's newest press secretary, replacing Karoline Leavitt, who resigned this past August. To say that Zacharia’s first appearance went miserably would be an understatement. I’d recommend a watch, but I have to warn you — the secondhand embarrassment is painful.

For most of her time behind the podium, Zacharia read her script in a wobbly, stilted voice. She stumbled and nervously giggled her way through the conference, and at one point referred to her husband as “my president.” Afterwards, she only took questions from friendly press organisations and ultimately failed to present herself as either competent or capable. The entire ordeal dragged on, fortunately, for only fifteen minutes. 

As first impressions go, it was widely panned by the press and political commentators alike, many of whom agreed that, after her discrediting performance, she was likely not going to last long. So my question is, can someone ever really recover from a truly terrible first impression? My answer is complicated.

Firstly, it’s important to establish that some bad first impressions are less ruinous than others. For example, giving your job interviewer a weak handshake will do a lot less damage than accidentally hitting them with your car. Most of the time, you can all have a laugh about it together and just move on. Secondly, not every first impression can make or break a relationship. I have many good friends with whom I didn’t get off on the right foot at first, and now we’re incredibly close. Similarly, I've been friends with people whom I've hit it off with right away, only to later wish I hadn’t. 

So no, first impressions don’t necessarily have to matter, and you can recover from them. But the bigger question is: should you really want to?

In the age of the internet, the phrase ‘walking red flag’ is tossed around a lot without much meaning. But sometimes glaring red flags are written off because we consider them ‘just bad first impressions,’ so you need to be more vigilant when dealing with the behaviour of someone you don’t know. As a rule, a good way to measure a person is to see the way they treat strangers. Yes, this may seem a little harsh, but if someone treats you terribly the first time you meet, like a potential date or employer, give them a wide berth. And look, I’m all for second chances, not judging books by their covers, and giving people the benefit of the doubt. But you have to listen to your gut and decide whether or not a terrible first impression is just that — or rather, a preview of what’s to come. 

As for Katie Zacharia, after she was widely mocked and criticised by the press for her woeful incompetence, it was reported that she would be leaving the role after a mere five days. So perhaps there’re some first impressions you really can’t recover from. And that's probably for the best. As the old saying goes, when someone shows you who they really are, it’s best to believe them.

Illustration from Wikimedia Commons