The house party is essential to surviving university; if done right, you wake up sore in unexpected places but refreshed and revived in the hope that everything will be okay and just maybe you’ll even get a job straight out of St Andrews. But throwing a house party is a skill set that not everyone is equipped or ready for: it’s not for the weak-hearted SD students or the pathetic bots of the town who study in SPACE. You want to hold the legendary title of the flat of 111B, not someone who...

For a town made up of only three streets, and with the majority of students leaving during the summer months, job vacancies in St Andrews can be difficult to come by. In response to this dilemma, I have taken a generous amount of time to compile a list of positions to fill: Professional Bed Warmer £100/ hour, plus tips depending on depth of warmth provided Must be attractive Responsibilities Services are only provided during the coldest of Scottish months. In spring and summer, students...

My recurring dreams lead me back to Westoun. I ‘inherited’ this mid-19th-century house built o ut of windstone on Wa rdlaw Gardens from my academic mother, Louisa. In my first and second year here, I went to raves in the garage, watched friends sloppily kiss their long-time crushes in the corner of the living room, drank from my first beer keg while doing a handstand in the front garden, and saw drugs for the first time being snorted off the kitchen floor. In a sense, I spent my St Andrews...