My Hungover Superpower

The dopamine shift that comes after a night out

Buddhist philosophy outlines the concept of the ‘monkey mind.’ We are all susceptible to this: monkey mind represents a state of restlessness, distraction, uncontrolled thought. Our discursive mind is like a chattering monkey. Without care or guidance, it will swing from tree to tree, pulling us from thought to thought — distracting us from the present moment. 

This is a concept I like to play with to steady my thoughts, and it is one which I feel is especially relevant as someone who has ADHD. My brain often feels like a chattering monkey, as if the beat of my thoughts is set to the clamour of thousands of tap shoes in a school gym, wild and loud and rhythmic, but out of my control. There is a way to move yourself to the rhythm which is created — I would never change this part of my brain. It is almost a point of pride for me that I am not, and have never been on, medication. The closest I have been to an orderly monkey, to a naturally linear line of thought, is feeling hungover. 

The day after a couple of drinks, I will reach a whole new level of productivity. It’s as if I become a different person. The tap shoes stop clicking, the skies calm, and the mountains in front of me flatten into one straight path. I’m by no means more motivated, it's more that it only takes me two minutes to make my coffee, to wash my face, to pick an outfit. I just understand, for the first time again, what to do and exactly how to do it. 

Time will pass more slowly for me as well. In every minute, I gain extra seconds, in every hour, extra minutes. It’s quite disconcerting, actually, how time will pass in an effective and linear manner. It ceases to jump about, to float, to speed up and slow down at whim. The hands of the clock pass each other in exact intervals, quiet for the first time, without the roundabouts and fluctuations which a typical distraction could provide. 

There are limits to this. Every superhero has his kryptonite, and every monkey his banana. I can never do any creative work — I couldn’t write this hungover, for example. Admin, on the other hand? I own admin. Similarly, I do feel hangovers. The hungover-superpower is less of a saving grace and more of a secret bonus. If I’m going to throw up, then I’m going to throw up. If I’m sleep deprived, however, it will only strengthen the monkey's serenity, only add to the flatness of the road. 

In my extensive, non-existent knowledge of neuroscience, I have come up with some hypotheses. ADHD is caused by a lack of baseline dopamine in one’s system; dopamine deficiency in reward pathways leads to symptoms which typify ADHD, such as poor focus, impulsivity, and fluctuating motivation. This makes it difficult to feel satisfied or motivated by long-term goals, leading individuals to seek immediate, high-stimulation outcomes. 

I like to think that, hungover, I still have a lingering level of dopamine punching about in my system from the night before. If anything could do it, the combined alcohol sugar content of five vodka cranberries will. As a reward for having a good time, I get to experience life in its easiest mode, as it apparently is set out for everyone else. 

As a general rule, if I wake up as I normally would, my powers will only increase. Past twelve, and I am pretty much condemned to sloth. Before then though, my hangover acts as a protector, shuttering the monkey off from the fog of indecision. 

This isn’t directly an article advocating for you to get hungover. What sort of newspaper would publish that? If you do have ADHD, though, and you happen to be hungover … get back to me. For the advancement of science. 

Illustration by Ana Brockmann Aldasoro