Ooh la-la The student population is in despair: because of the saturated graduate scene, we can’t get a job, and because of a nonexistent dating scene, we can’t even get laid. It’s a sorry situation, and, as a ‘chopped femcel’ whose degree was rendered obsolete by Google Translate before even starting it, I too want to give up. I’m lamenting the lyrics to Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now — although not all of them, because, unlike Morrissey, despite looking for a job, I never found one....

Like any good logophile, I always have an arsenal of words du moment and, as ever, I have some bangers on the go. However, among “woof,” and another word beginning with “w” not fitting for The Saint , the current favourite is “naff,” essentially meaning something that, despite trying to achieve class or style, is a bit tacky, ingenuine, or, to use another favourite, ghastly. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than describing things as naff. In my notes app, there is even a list called “Things...

My plans for improving St Andrews Back in January, after a controversy provoking students and the university’s governing body, Rector Stella Maris was removed from her position as President of the University Court. Many, therefore, are looking to October, when we will be presented with an array of candidates for our next Rector, all no doubt promising to represent our interests and share the progressive views of our liberal student body — yes, all three of them. However, after the Maris...